My husband and I decided on a home birth

When my husband, Daniel, and I decided to have a home birth, his mother insisted that she be there to “help” and “support us.” At first, I felt grateful. Having someone with experience in our home might make the process easier, right? Even though we had a midwife ready to guide us, extra hands didn’t seem like a bad idea. I pictured her bringing us cool towels, maybe making soup afterward. But when the big day finally came, things did not go the way I had imagined.

It was early morning when my contractions began. The sunlight was just peeking through our bedroom window, and I could feel the pain building in waves. Daniel rushed to get the birthing pool set up in our living room, while my midwife quietly set out her supplies. My mother-in-law, Sharon, was bustling around, wearing a bright pink apron and talking a mile a minute about how “birth is a natural miracle” and how she was “so excited to be part of it.” I tried to focus on my breathing, nodding whenever she spoke.

As the labor intensified, I went into what felt like another world, focusing on each contraction and trying my best to stay calm. Occasionally, I’d look up to see Sharon pacing in and out of the room, which struck me as odd. She didn’t stay to hold my hand or help Daniel hold my shoulders. She kept disappearing, and each time she came back, she looked over her shoulder like she was checking for something—or someone.

During a break between contractions, as I rested against a pile of pillows on the couch, I heard a strange noise coming from the back of the house. It sounded like a muffled beeping or a buzzing. At first, I thought maybe it was a phone ringing in another room, but it kept happening in short bursts, almost like some electronic device was turning on and off.

“Daniel,” I whispered, trying to catch my breath, “do you hear that sound?”

He paused, listening. Then he glanced at the midwife, who was busy checking my pulse. “I’ll go take a look,” he said. He kissed me on the forehead before heading down the hallway.

It felt like forever before he came back. When he finally did, his face was completely pale. I could see his hands shaking. My heart pounded with a new kind of fear—forgetting for a moment the pain of labor. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

He took a deep breath. “You won’t believe this,” he said, his voice trembling. “Mom set up a camera in the guest room… and there’s a laptop connected to it. She’s streaming the birth live to her… her online ‘mommy group.’ She told them they could watch and ask questions!”

My mind spun. “What?” I gasped, nearly losing my grip on reality. I tried to stand, but a contraction seized me. The midwife soothed me back onto the pillows. I couldn’t believe Sharon had done something like this. I felt betrayed, embarrassed, and furious all at once.

Meanwhile, Sharon peeked into the room again, her face wearing an anxious smile. “Is everything okay?” she asked, avoiding my eyes. Daniel’s glare was so intense, I thought he might explode. But I spoke first, my voice shaky with rage.

“Mom, what did you do?” I managed. Another contraction was coming, but I fought against the pain to get the words out. “Are you… streaming this birth… to strangers?”

She took a step back, her eyes widening. For a moment, she seemed unsure whether to deny it or come clean. Then, in a small voice, she began to explain. She said she belonged to a large online community of mothers who helped each other with every aspect of parenting—pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. She claimed they were “like family” to her. She wanted to show them a real home birth so they could learn. She insisted it was “educational,” and she truly believed I would be okay with it if I only understood.

I felt my blood boil. “You never asked me!” I shouted, my voice cracking. “You never even mentioned it! How could you do this without my permission?” Tears stung my eyes. This was supposed to be one of the most private, intimate moments of my life. I couldn’t understand how she could think it was acceptable to share it with people I didn’t know.

The midwife spoke up, calmly but firmly. “This is not right,” she said, placing a supportive hand on my arm. “We need to turn off that camera immediately and ensure the birth remains a private event. The mother’s comfort and privacy are top priorities.”

Daniel wasted no time. He stormed down the hallway again. I heard the sound of doors slamming, a cable ripping from a wall socket, and then a loud crash. Later, I learned he had yanked the whole setup out of the wall in his anger. When he returned to the living room, Sharon began to sob. She insisted she had only the best intentions and didn’t mean any harm.

But it was too late. My labor was in full swing again, and there was no space in my mind for her tears or excuses. The pain surged, and the midwife guided me to focus on breathing, on bringing my baby into the world. Time seemed to blur. I vaguely remembered Sharon apologizing over and over, while Daniel told her to leave us alone. Finally, the midwife asked her to step away for the sake of everyone’s stress levels.

Even though I was furious, I also felt a strange pity for her. I didn’t understand why she would do something so invasive, but I knew she wasn’t a bad person. Maybe she just got carried away, wanting attention or praise from her online friends. But in the middle of labor, I couldn’t think deeply about it. My body needed all my focus.

After hours of hard work, our baby arrived, healthy and strong. The joy I felt in that moment pushed aside some of my anger. But once I held my baby in my arms, reality returned. I remembered what Sharon had done. I felt exposed and betrayed. As I rested in bed, with Daniel at my side, we talked about the incident. He admitted he didn’t know how to move forward. We couldn’t change what had happened, but we also couldn’t pretend it was okay.

When Sharon finally came back into the room, she was quiet and apologetic. She barely looked me in the eye. She whispered something about how “the feed was cut right away” and that she was “truly sorry.” We both just nodded, too tired and overwhelmed to say much else. I could see she regretted her actions, but it still hurt.

Even now, when I think about that day, I feel a mixture of happiness for my child’s birth and lingering anger toward Sharon. Perhaps we can learn to forgive and move on. But the memory is still fresh, and trust is much harder to rebuild once it’s broken.

So, here’s my question: Would you be able to forgive someone who invaded your privacy in such a personal moment, or would this betrayal be too hard to get past?