Blonde jokes have been around forever, but let’s be honest—most of them are either ancient, predictable, or just plain bad. If you’re going to tell a blonde joke, it better be sharp, fresh, and actually funny.

So, forget the same old punchlines you’ve heard a million times. I’ve put together ten brand-new blonde jokes that will actually make you laugh—or at least make you roll your eyes in a good way.

Ready? Let’s go.

1. The Blonde’s Business Plan

A blonde walks into a lawyer’s office and asks, “How much do you charge for legal advice?”
Lawyer: “$500 for three questions.”
Blonde: “Wow! Isn’t that expensive?”
Lawyer: “Yes. What’s your third question?”

2. The Genius Idea

A blonde orders a pizza. The cashier asks, “Should I cut it into 6 or 12 slices?”
She thinks for a second. “Six. No way I can eat twelve.”

3. The Lottery Winner

A blonde wins $10 million in the lottery. A reporter asks, “What’s the first thing you’ll buy?”
She beams. “A second lottery ticket.”

4. The Job Interview

Interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
Blonde: “On a beach, sipping margaritas.”
Interviewer: “I meant in this company.”
Blonde: “Oh. You guys have beaches?”

5. The Password Dilemma

A blonde tries to log into her bank account.
System: “Enter a secure password.”
She types: “Snow White.”
System: “Password must contain a number.”
She sighs and types: “Seven dwarfs.”

6. The Phone Upgrade

A blonde goes to the Apple store.
Blonde: “I want to buy a new iPhone.”
Employee: “Which one?”
Blonde: “Uh… the one that makes calls.”

7. The “Self-Driving” Car

A blonde is bragging about her new self-driving car. “It’s amazing! I don’t have to do anything.”
Her friend asks, “Does it really drive itself?”
She nods. “Well, kinda. I put it in neutral and started pushing.”

8. The Science Exam

Teacher: “What’s the formula for water?”
Blonde: “H I J K L M N O.”
Teacher: “What?! No, it’s H₂O.”
Blonde: “You said it was water, not ‘H to O.’”

9. The Museum Mix-Up

A blonde is visiting a museum. She stops in front of a mummy exhibit and gasps.
Blonde: “Wow, they really had texting back then?!”
Guide: “…What?”
Blonde: “Look! This one died in 1300 B.C. … Before Cellphones!”

10. The Airplane Upgrade

A blonde is boarding a plane when she sees two open seats—one in economy and one in first class. She sits in first class.
Flight attendant: “Ma’am, you need to move to your assigned seat.”
Blonde: “Nope. I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m sitting here.”
The pilot comes over, whispers something in her ear, and she immediately moves.
Flight attendant: “What did you say?”
Pilot: “I told her first class wasn’t going to Paris.”

And there you have it—10 actually funny blonde jokes that won’t make you groan. Which one was your favorite? Or do you have a better one? Let’s hear it.