My husband and I are fortunate enough to have been able to support our children not only through college but also by setting aside money for their future weddings. As our sons got older, one of them, Liam, told us he didn’t plan to get married. My husband and I decided that, when the time came, Liam could use the money for a down payment on his first home instead. We gave the same option to our other son—it would be up to them how they used it.

Liam dated Rachel from ages 20 to 23. Their relationship seemed serious, and Liam had told us he saw a future with her. Rachel was very close to our family, even joining us on vacations. But one day, seemingly out of nowhere, Liam announced they had broken up. He refused to talk about it or explain why. We supported him but were confused.

A few months later, Rachel reached out to me. She said she’d been trying to contact Liam but couldn’t reach him. That’s when she dropped the bombshell: she’d recently given birth to Liam’s baby and needed his help. I didn’t give her his number immediately, as I wasn’t sure how Liam would feel about it, but I promised to speak with him.

When I told Liam about the baby, he wasn’t surprised. He admitted he already knew. I asked if the baby was his and if cheating or some other issue had led to their breakup. He assured me the baby was his, Rachel wasn’t the type to cheat, and it was simply an accident. I asked if he felt trapped, but he said no—he just didn’t want to be a father. I was stunned. My husband and I didn’t raise our boys to shirk responsibility. I told him he at least needed to pay child support, but he shrugged it off, saying Rachel couldn’t afford a lawyer to force him. I was heartbroken and angry.

I decided to meet with Rachel. She looked exhausted and explained that she’d been laid off right before finding out she was pregnant. She had used up her savings and was struggling to make ends meet while caring for the baby. I held the baby—my granddaughter—and fell in love immediately.

My husband and I knew we had to help.

We helped Rachel find a job and decided to use the money we’d set aside for Liam’s wedding/down payment to hire her a good lawyer. The first step was a DNA test, which confirmed the baby was Liam’s. With the lawyer’s help, Rachel was able to secure child support, which made a huge difference in her life. Rachel also asked us not to tell Liam where the money came from, and we respected her wishes.

That was a year ago. My husband and I are now very involved in Rachel and the baby’s lives. Rachel has stabilized—she has a new apartment, and the child support has made things much easier. Liam, on the other hand, has barely spoken to us since. He calls us traitors for staying in touch with Rachel and the baby, and he blames us for her suing him for child support. We’ve told him repeatedly how disappointed we are in his behavior and that we chose to prioritize his daughter’s wellbeing.

Recently, Liam announced that he’s ready to buy his first home. He’s saved some money and was counting on the fund we’d set aside for him. That’s when we had to break the news: the money was gone, and we explained why. He exploded, accusing us of choosing Rachel and the baby over him. He has now cut us off completely, saying we’ve abandoned him for this “new family.”

Our other son supports our involvement with the baby but thinks we were wrong to use the money Liam was counting on. While we were confident in our decision at the time, we’re now starting to wonder: Did we go too far?

Were we wrong to use that money to help Rachel and the baby?