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  The Speed Limit Mix-Up

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  I OFFERED TO HELP MY ELDERLY NEIGHBOR—AND SHE HANDED ME A NOTE THAT MADE ME FREEZE

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  I FOUND THIS PUPPY OUTSIDE MY BUILDING—AND THEN MY NEIGHBOR STARTED ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS

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  I FOUND HER ON THE SIDEWALK—AND SHE FOLLOWED ME ALL THE WAY HOME

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  HE SERVED DINNER TO HIS TEDDY BEARS—BECAUSE WE DIDN’T HAVE ANY LEFT FOR OURSELVES

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  WE SPENT THE NIGHT UNDER THAT NEON SIGN—BUT I STILL HAD TO BE AT WORK BY SIX

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  HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THE FIRE—BUT FOUND A NEW REASON TO KEEP SHOWING UP

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  I GOT WRITTEN UP FOR GIVING STRAY DOGS WATER—BUT I’D DO IT AGAIN

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  WE STUFFED CARDBOARD IN THE WINDOW TO KEEP OUT THE WIND

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  I COULDN’T AFFORD A LIMO—SO I WAITED FOR THE BUS IN MY SUIT

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  I GAVE HIM MY LUNCH MONEY—BUT HE GAVE ME SOMETHING WAY BETTER

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  WE WEREN’T JUST CHOOSING SNACKS—WE WERE CHOOSING DINNER